The Insanity Continues

 ~a minific by Mel and Christy~


> Mwahahaha! It will be mine! They will all be mine! *grin*
> Thanks babe!
> Ashura


MEL: Ooo. I think we started something. Think she'll want this one too?

CHRISTY: I think we've created a MONSTER. She also might want 'We're Armed and Dangerous Now', that one was fun.

MEL: Yeah... HEY! Did you notice? Little Onna ran away while we were adjusting the frammistats on the Big Humming Energy Weapon Thingies!


MEL: *sigh* Duo... we told you time and time again that we weren't going to sic her on you.

DUO: I don't trust you guys to only use her in 'Reunion'. And besides, what about poor 'Fei?

WUFEI: That little monster kept chewing on my leg! [exhibits rather munched shin.]

MEL: Awwwwwwww! Poor baby... c'mere and I'll kiss it better.

WUFEI: Stay away from me! Hentai!

MEL: And proud of it-- oooh! oooh! Christy! That's a point! I wanna join that United Hentai Alliance thingy!

CHRISTY: Me too me too me too!

MEL: Think they'll let us in?

CHRISTY: They might, wabbit. They might.

WUFEI (mutter): those two QUALIFY all right. Sick hentai onnas.

CHRISTY: But you love it, Wufei! You're gonna get a GORGEOUS guy in 'Demon of Justice', you get Duo... eventually... in our other arc, what more do you want?!


CORD (busting through the wall half-naked and painted blue): AYE! ARE YE WITH ME?!?

CHRISTY (burying her face in Duo's shoulder): Oh gawd. Can we kill him yet? They killed him in Braveheart...

DUO (patting her head): There, there, C-chan. He doesn't do it often... it's just because Mel's boss thinks he belongs in that movie and started quoting it all over the place. I don't think Mel will let you kill him off - she likes him too much.

CHRISTY: We can't introduce her to Gladiator.

MEL: Why? Oh! No, I don't like the Braveheart guy. I like Cord. I've never SEEN Braveheart. This [waving her hand at the chaos as Cord runs past howling and waving a huge sword] is not my fault. Cross-genre contamination just kinda happens sometimes.

HEERO: Hn. I'll fix it. [takes aim]



MEL (now clutching her plastic trident): Don't you even THINK of hitting my hunky Hibernian hradani!

HEERO (from the floor): wazzn't gonna hit 'm. waz gonna shoot 'm.

MEL: I know, but that wouldn't have alliterated. I will fix this! You keep your itchy trigger finger to yourself!

CHRISTY: Duo... she's fixing things. Hide me!

DUO: Only if I get to hide with you, C-chan!

CHRISTY: Deal. [grabs scythe. zip!]

MEL: Okay, now I just need to properly frammistat the Big Humming Thingy-- Wufei, could you give me a hand here? Wufei? OI! WUFEI! GET THAT WOAD OFF RIGHT NOW!



[Crashing noises as the two blue swordsmen take another wall down.]

MEL: Great. Now I gotta zap both of 'em.

[In the closet:]

CHRISTY: Full house, Duo. Pay up.

DUO: Oi! You cheated!

CHRISTY: I did not! Now, off with the shirt!

DUO [muttering]: at this rate, I'M gonna have to paint myself blue...

[Back in the lounge:]

MEL: Right... the frammistat is adjusted... the capacitor thingy-whatsits are all charged... it's humming... Trowa and Quatre didn't come home today (guess Q-chan had a premonition or something) so they're out of the danger zone... I'm all set. Now I just gotta get both those blue whackos on the Big Red Target. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

[A minute later:]


[Mel is standing on the Big Red Target in front of the Humming Properly Frammistatted Energy Weapon Thingy, dressed as... er... a Hentai Sassenach Onna Hussy Writer Demon. Use your imagination.]

MEL: First I'm going to slash YOU TWO together, then--

CHRISTY (peering out of closet): WHOA! Danger, Will Robinson! We ain't coming out yet! <*click*>

[The howling blue loonies thunder down on Mel as she sits scribbling in a notebook.]

MEL: --I think Doctor J doesn't get nearly enough action, and I'm sure he thinks Wuffie is cute--

[Wufei, who was a little behind, yells in fury and pulls even with Cord.]

MEL: --and boy oh boy I really hope I frammistatted this thing right!









[dust clears]

[Christy and Duo peer out of the closet. Christy is minus her shoes and socks; Duo is just wearing Grim Reaper boxer shorts.]

CHRISTY: Um... think it's safe? It's awful quiet...

MEL: Come on out, you guys!

[Mel is sitting on the floor, quietly patting Wufei's hair. He isn't blue any more, and Cord is nowhere to be seen.]

DUO: Um... where'd the big fuzzy-eared guy go?

MEL: Hm? Oh, he's been blown back into his fic. I got the frammistat right this time; even the woad got properly separated and smacked into Braveheart fic-space. The only unforeseen side-effect was Heero.

DUO: WHAT?! What happened to Hee-chan?!

[Mel points. Heero's lying on the floor where she dropped him with the trident... on the edge of the blast radius, slightly singed.]

MEL: I only adjusted the frammistat to save me from the effects. Ooops.

CHRISTY: Enh, he's just slightly singed... he'll be fine.

[Heero cracks open one sooty eyelid, and sees... Duo in boxers. This doesn't have the sappy effect you might expect; he leaps up and grabs Christy by the throat.]


CHRISTY (calmly): Heero... put me down and be nice. I still haven't decided who we're giving Duo to.

[Mel whips out the video camera and starts filming for more Heero In The Throes Of Jealousy research.]


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